And life goes on

I'm getting ready to start my new job at the farm as Assistant Stable Manager. It's exciting for me: it's the first official title I've had in any boarding facility, and not only does it mean better pay ($10.15/hr!!! Woo!) it also means greater responsibility and a better looking resume. My last exam was yesterday, and with graduation tomorrow, this means I am officially headed into my senior year of college. I am both very, very excited and very, very nervous.

For now, I'm trying to relax. I've been dealing with a lot of personal things lately, and all of it has piled on me so badly that I found myself in a very deep, depressive funk. My boyfriend has ordered me to start taking more time to myself (what a concept, huh?) and to stop filling all my down time with doing things for others. "Be selfish for once!" he said to me the other day.

For the next few days I'll be dog-sitting in a (really nice) house down the road from the college, I'll head home to see my family on Mother's Day, and by Monday I will be moving into my apartment in town and starting my job on Tuesday. This summer already seems to be underway, and yet I feel like the school year hasn't even ended yet.

I'm excited. I'm scared, but I'm excited. I feel like I'll get to, for the first time in my life, run things myself. No more dealing with stupid drunk idiots at 2AM, listening to some a-hole bang around above me...no more dining hall food, no more shared bathrooms that are dirty as soon as they get cleaned. I get to go grocery shopping (something I love to do), keep things the way I want them, cook my own food and have peace and quiet when I need it.

For now, I'm trying to relax, take it all in, let it all settle, and let things just happen.