The Chronicles of Ernest: Rest In Peace, Ernie.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rest In Peace, Ernie.

He's gone. And from how he was today, he was ready and thankful to go.

I can't write now. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion, guilt, remembrance, and just pure, utter sadness. I have lost a piece of myself, and I miss him with all of my being.

All I can use to console myself is that he was happy with me. He lived a good 9 years under my care, my scrutinizing eye. We had some amazing moments together, most of which weren't under saddle. I loved caring for him more than I ever could love riding him, I loved him that much.

I will cry for a while, but he was ready. He is no longer in pain, and that alone makes it worth it.

Rest In Peace, Ernie: 3/14/80 - 6/27/11. I love you with everything I have, and I always will.

2 comments:

JenJune 27, 2011 at 9:15 PM
{Hugs} He's in a better place now and not in pain.
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DressagerJune 30, 2011 at 1:58 PM
I am so terribly sorry to hear about Ernie. This is the hardest part of loving horses, but the best part is all the good times had and life lessons taught. You will never forget those. Ernie is happy now and will always be watching over you and waiting for you. Best of luck in this hard time.
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Stella (LittleBig Mare)

Stella is a 4 year old Appendix QH mare with a small stature but a lot of attitude. In 2009 I knew I needed to start looking for another horse to fill Ernie's shoes. I had no idea what I wanted: schoolmaster, retrain project, youngster? It was completely coincidental that Stella and I ended up paired together, but it couldn't have been a better match. I bought her as a 2 year old from a woman I worked for and the bonding process began right there. She is quick, smart, possesses the best temperament of any horse I've ever worked with but still let's me know that, hey, she's a redheaded mare, and nothing comes all that easy!

LBM started off with the name "Nel", which I quickly scrapped and opted for something sweeter and more feminine to match her kind (but feisty) disposition. I swore I'd never own a mare, but Stella has grown on me and firmly rooted herself in my life to the point where I know I will never be able to part with her. She's progressing in her training quickly and my hope is she'll be making appearances in the dressage show ring in the next couple years.

Jam Session ("Ernest"): 3/14/80 - 6/27/11

Ernie left this world on June 27th, 2011 on a beautiful summer afternoon. The sun was out, and there was a cool breeze coming from the north. He enjoyed a day out at pasture with Stella, plenty of grooming and hand grazing and his favorite treat, a bag of barbecue Fritos.

There are so many words to describe the incredible spirit he embodied, but one comes to mind every time I think of him: resilience. What he suffered in the 11 years between his first owner and when I met him I don't know, but his condition when I got to him said everything. He was mistrusting, nervous, self-protective. He would give you the up and down as you approached him, wary of your hands especially. I can't prove he was abused, but everything about him screamed it.

For months we worked on trusting. I was inexperienced and naive and easily frustrated, but he stuck with me through everything. He began a new life as a wonderfully talented dressage horse. He blossomed right before my eyes, a beautiful deep red-bay with a heart as big as they come. He came with his quirks: a chronic weaver, tirelessly herd bound. However, many of his other issues were caused by people: he had ulcers and a terrible case of cold back. Yet his desire to please, even when he was terrified (if not for no reason, as he often was) overpowered it all.

He came through 5 homes. He lived through unknown abuses. He spent most of his life in some level of pain. He suffered two "career ending" injuries, he went missing once, and when he finally came to school with me, the sigh of relief as he walked off the trailer was enough to cloud my eyes with tears.

I have lost a piece of myself in his passing, but I am more whole than I was before he entered my life. I still hear him whinny in the distance, and I feel his presence in the barn. He is always there with me in some respect. Physically he is gone, but the lessons he taught me will be with me until I meet him again.

March 14th, 1980 to June 27th, 2011. It is with immense love and honor that I knew and cared for him.

Stats

Show Name: Jam Session
Barn Name: Ernest/Ernie
Registered Name (Jockey Club): Krohn of My Own
Sire: Dr. Krohn (Arts and Letters x Lady Swaps)
Dam: Princess Paulette (Moonlight Express x Warewup)
Breed: Thoroughbred
Color: bay
Markings: Roaning on right front pastern, white splash on face over right eye
Height: 15.3
DOB: March 14th, 1980

DOD: June 27th, 2011
Disciplines: Dressage with the occasional hack

Show Name: AMS Boudicca
Barn Name: Stella
Sire: Diamond MajorLeaguer
Dam: Artful Dreamer
Breed: Appendix (TBxQH)
Color: chestnut
Markings: "longhorn" on muzzle, white coronary band on LH
Height: 15.2
DOB: April, 2007
Disciplines: Dressage in training

The Chronicles of Ernest

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rest In Peace, Ernie.

2 comments:

Stella (LittleBig Mare)

Jam Session ("Ernest"): 3/14/80 - 6/27/11

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