Lesson #1

Haven't posted in a bit, as I've been off fiddling with Stella. I read quite a bit of The Birdie Book over the weekend and have been continuing to pick at it as I play and ask questions and learn.

Biggest thing gained: I must, must, MUST seriously adopt this new way of thinking about my horse and our relationship forever. This is not one of those "exercises" where you do it for a few weeks and then go back to the way things were. No, I'm in this for the long-haul.

So what exactly is this "new" way of thinking? Well, it isn't so new, but it is certainly a way of thinking, and is not exclusive to horses.

Ever heard the expression "You ride the horse you're on today"? This way of thinking and relating to animals epitomizes that expression. I think too many people don't really understand what it means and what's behind it: I certainly didn't. Almost all of us get on with the understanding that we are going to do something, that we are going to accomplish something. We have a plan. We have goals, ambitions, desires, etc. And very few of us really take into consideration what the horse's opinion is on all of these things. Most of us don't even know how to ask our horse how he feels, or listen to him when he does tell us.

Before someone thinks this, this way of thinking and living is NOT some fairy tale, fluffer-nutter, mumbo-jumbo BS written and practiced by somebody who LUUUUUUVS their horsey friend. In fact, it's quite the opposite of those sorts of people. You need some measure of intestinal fortitude to take the leap of faith into this realm: it's about self-discovery, mutual honesty and true, open communication. It's also a good dose of humility in the beginning. You have to be willing to submit to being taught every moment of every day. You have to put aside the notion that you know anything, be willing to dump previous notions you believed to be true and begin to question the practices you've followed the past however-many years. It's tough, but it is so worth it.

I have had a good bit of fun with Stella the past few days. There has been no riding, no schooling, no ambitions, not even any expectations involved except for one, which is the first step towards building an understanding and friendship between the two of us:

Rule #1: Stella is to stand calmly until invited by me to do otherwise.

The catch is that what we've been doing the past 3 days involved no ropes, no cross-ties, no aisles, no restraint. It involved me, her, a roundpen and some grooming tools.

Simple: for the past 3 days, I have brought her and my grooming tote up to the roundpen. I let her loose and I do not attempt to direct her in any way shape or form. I do not move toward her UNTIL she stops moving, at which point I begin to calmly approach her shoulder. If she give even the inclination of trying to walk off, I stop moving and wait for her to stop, too. This sends her a very clear message: "this isn't about running away. This is about being still. I'm not going to chase you nor do I want you to run from me."

When she is perfectly still, I approach her shoulder and begin grooming with my first tool. If she shows me she's even thinking about wandering off, I stop and if I can, move calmly but quickly and place my hand on the underside of her neck where it connects to her breast. I don't try and hold her, I just touch her. Every time she's stopped moving. This sends her another clear message: "you have the option to go away if you want, but I'd like you to stay here. I am not going to chase you, I don't want you to run."

I finish with my first grooming tool. I walk over to my grooming box and get my second. If she has decided to walk off, I let her and wait until she stops again. Only then do I approach her. So far, once she has stopped and permitted me to approach, she hasn't moved again.

I continue going through my tools, but the key is not to bring them with you. You go get them, one at a time, from your box. You don't bring the box to the horse. This is a sort of test: it's telling the horse "I am going to leave, but I still expect you to stay where you are until I ask you to come with me." Stella passed this test with flying colors.

I applied all manner of grooming tools to Stella the last few days, all of which she accepted on all parts of her body without flinching away, tossing her head or trying to walk away. The reasoning behind this is simple: I was, for the first time, presenting to her the idea that she should remain still on her own. Only after this is established can the horse be safely tied. There were no coercive measures or ropes involved. There was no pressure to stay still. She could run away if she felt it necessary, but she never did. She made the decision to stay with me because she felt comfortable, and she understood what was being asked. She stood for 20 minutes on her own accord with one legged cocked while I groomed her and petted her. It was probably the most fun I've had with a horse in a long time.

I guarantee someone is going to read this and say "my horse has no issue with being tied and I've never done this". I'm willing to bet that isn't totally true: next time your horse is on the cross-ties, really look at what they are doing. Do they paw, shuffle from side to side, come forward, go backward, get fidgety, show the whites of their eyes, feel the need to look around a lot, react poorly to certain spots being groomed, refuse to pick their feet up, get "stuck" and refuse to move when asked? None of these are "bad behaviors". They are attempts to communicate that they are not comfortable. We do the horse a terrible injustice by labeling the things they do "behaviors". They aren't "behaviors", they are communications.

(For the record, I'd like to point out the Stella did a lot of things on the cross-ties before I taught her this lesson that showed me she was uncomfortable: she'd inch forward until she was hanging on the cross-ties with her head up high; she'd toss her head while I was grooming her left side, she'd be finicky with her back feet while I picked them out...I saw none of these things when I groomed her at liberty the past few days...)

Try this with your own horse in a safe, enclosed space. It's a good deal of fun and very enjoyable and you'll be surprised if you do it honestly how quickly your horse will catch on.