Many Thanks

This year has been so different from previous years, not just in the life of this blog but in my own life (yes, I do have one of those). I have learned so much, changed my perspective on many things, loved endlessly, met new friends, and lost a very, very dear one.

I've always had mixed feelings about Thanksgiving. My extended family is small, at least those who live in Vermont, and we don't always get along, especially around holidays. My immediate family I will always love, but we too have our share of spats. Thus, holidays can carry an extra weight for me: I want everyone to get along and be kind (something that doesn't always happen). I still have this childhood wish for holidays to be magical and somehow bring people together despite their differences. It doesn't always happen.

Despite this, I always have so much to be thankful for. I will always have a roof over my head, a table to sit down at, and family who will take me in whenever and if ever I need it. I have a circle of good, true friends who I don't need to talk to every day to know they are always there if I need them. I have Alex, and am forever grateful for everything he's been through with me so far. I hope for many more wonderful moments with him.

And then I have these wonderful creatures, one of whom is no longer in this world but is still with me every day.

I miss Ernie every day. There are still times where I feel the tears well up for no good reason. He's buried right alongside of the trail I take Stella on, and I always stop and stare at the ground for a minute and remember.

I've had to reel myself in a little over time and remember the living, too. I have a wonderful, willing, sweet and gorgeous mare who works very hard every day to do what I ask. I am so thankful I met her: it was purely by accident, it wasn't actually supposed to happen, but it did, and I am forever glad her lead rope was shoved into my hands that day.

This has been one hell of a year in so many ways, but I've grown emotionally more than I have at any other point. I'm sure it's going to keep coming, I'll keep learning, I'll keep messing up. They call that life, right?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! I hope everyone has been as fortunate as I have this year. Go hug your ponies and feed them treats: they deserve it.