I spent the past 4 days freaking out about my massage certification deadlines, fitting in last minutes massages, videos, organizing my portfolio, freaking out some more, forgetting things, killing my fair share of trees by printing off ungodly numbers of forms and journal entries and getting very fed up with technology. I go to a TECHNICAL COLLEGE, people! Why can't we get a decent video camera that's not from, oh, 2001?!? Why is it that my wireless connection craps out at 1AM, when the bandwidth usage is probably lower than at any other point in the day!? (Actually, that's probably not true, 1AM is when all of the video-gamers are out in full force...)
But, it's DONE! All done. All handed in, videos on flash drives (one of which cost me over 30 bucks...I haven't even gotten the damn certification and I'm already putting money into it). I met with my prof. today, made sure the videos worked (this has been an ongoing saga, one I am not ever feeling the need to go through again), handed her the pretty black binder with the nice, neat, paper-protected entries on clients and my findings in cool, complicated-sounding massage lingo ("I performed NMT and cross-fiber strippling over the origin of the brachiocephalicus but wasn't able to elicit positive feedback signals from the client") , and walked out feeling like I'd just lost 500 lbs. Yes, it was that dramatic.
I've been feeling kind of yucky lately; I don't remember the last time the sun was out, I feel pretty fried, ready for warm(er) weather, summer, the end of this semester (which has been the semester from hell, let me tell you) and I'm lacking any motivation to work Stella, nor have I given Ernie as much attention as I should. Do I feel bad? Yes, I feel terrible. I can see his condition continuing to decline and it makes me feel like total poop. I feel like no matter what I do, what lengths I go to, what supplements he's on, how much attention he gets, he's just not happy...
It's sort of like trying to buy a gift for that person who has everything. Nothing you give them is good enough, expensive enough, useful enough, pretty enough, important enough...this horse is that friend. Except we're talking about stuff he needs to stay healthy right now. I just ordered a month's worth of Peroglide, the Cushing's medication, and I'm going to see what it does. When I took his blankets off today to start to shed him out, I was shocked by how ribby he was; it's like he dropped 50 lbs overnight. He's got a wicked long coat, longer than I ever remember seeing it, and he just looks like hell. He's back on the calming supplement, which seems to be easing his anxiety when I go to work Stella just a little, and he's now on double the dose of the Rapidflex as well as a fat supplement. I thought of putting him on an oil, and I still might, but I don't want corn or veggie oil so I'm going to see if I can get my hands on a gallon of Rice Bran oil or something similiar. To top it all off, I've started him on alfalfa pellets in addition to the senior feed and hay stretcher pellets he gets...
I cleaned him all up today, braided and bandaged up his tail since he seems to have taken a knack to pooping on it (which then freezes and makes a lovely mess for me) and beginning to shed him out. The hairs that are coming out right now are the long, coarse topcoat hairs, but he's still shedding like a son of a gun. I clipped up the yucky, scratches-infected area, slathered it with obscene amounts of greasy goo, and fed him lots and lots of treats. And trimmed his mane. And his tail. Both were driving me nuts...he looked like a homeless horse, all ragged and un-groomed, although I KNOW he doesn't care.
I also pondered what to do about his hay situation. I arranged for the hay net to be hung outside his stall, under the eaves so that he at least stays out of (most) of the nasty weather. He seems to enjoy being outside more, and cleans almost everything up when it's put outside, but leaves quite a bit (and balls a lot more) when it's hung inside. I think this is due to two things: A) he's not taking the time to chew properly because he's worried about making sure nothing has changed from the 10 seconds that's passed since the LAST time he looked outside) and B) he prefers standing outdoors, even in yucky weather, 9 times out of 10. So, despite my chagrin about having to clean a constantly wet and slush-coated horse, I think I'll be leaving the bag outside, if it makes him happier (and means less waste on the ground and more in his belly!)
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