The Beginning.

This is the first post of what I hope becomes many. I've long wanted to blog about my horse life, mostly as a record of the progress my horses and I make. But it's also to share the experiences I've had and the lessons I've learned. I'm a pretty strong believer in the idea that we're never done learning, and as a current student myself, no ideal has been more true for me over the past few years.

I'm pretty sure I stumbled across Ernie by accident (oh, by the way, this is Ernie)...

I really didn't like him when I first met him. I was young and ignorant and did things how I thought they should be done. He was old, stubborn and didn't want to hear a word of it. The following is a brief history, although I'll warn you, even a briefing of this horse's past could easily take up several short novels:

March, 1984: Ernie is born. According to the initial owner he was originally going to be considered a stud colt...until he tried to take the farm manager's head off, at which point he was promptly castrated. He was an evil little sod, chasing people out of his paddocks; he was even of the good fortune to be the son of a mare nicknamed "Witchy"...if that's not a telling start, I don't know what is. Ernie absolutely failed as a racehorse. Entered into three races, he finished second to last in the first, was disqualified in the second for breaking through the gate, and was scratched from the third when he walked off the trailer lame. I find it lucky that he was such an epic failure; OTTB's are a shot in the dark. Some make it out without a scratch, some endure injuries but heal from them and become great in another disciplines. Many, however, don't get the chance or are too beat up to become anything more than pasture pets, if they are so lucky. The other option is usually someone's dinner plate. Either way, Ernie was untouched...he just was a crappy runner.

Between here and around 1998, I've got a big blank, but a lot of ideas of what could have happened. I am absolutely certain Ernie was abused emotionally and/or physically at some point. He's a pretty typical TB: kinda flighty, way oversensitive, and needs some babying. But he's also got tell-tale signs of abuse and mistreatment: he's terribly head-shy, but not in a traditional sense. He trusts me and knows I won't hit him, but if I were to accidentally bump him or raise my hand as if to hit him, he jerks his head and continues to do so until you calm him down. He also is EXTREMELY emotionally...well, screwed up. He's horribly herd-bound, attaches himself to the first horse, ANY horse, he's put out to pasture with, flips out if you take that horse away, and cannot be reliably left alone in any sort of enclosed setting. So stalls are a no-no. Ernie will weave himself into the ground if closed into a stall (no, seriously...he'll go all night long, and I'll come in the morning to do chores to find him soaked and covered in foam). I've only found one barn where the stalls are, for some odd reason, acceptable to him. So, in every other situation, he's been stabled in a walk-out stall and turned out into a separate pasture during the day to prevent boredom.

So, because of all this, I've drawn the conclusion that Ernie's main fear is of being left alone. Even if I leave him on the cross-ties for a moment to get something from the tack room, I know he's going to crane his neck so he can monitor me and make sure I come back. He's incredibly insecure, and even now I still have to remind him that it's all OK. This is a 24-hr babysitting job, ladies and gentlemen. This horse has taught me more patience and perseverance than any animal I've ever come in contact with. But what I've gotten back is totally worth it.

Besides the emotional needs, since I've owned him Ernie has torn his his right hind suspensory ligament twice, put the barn roof through his head (no joke), and gone missing for over 20 hours. Yeah, it's been a pretty wild ride. I'm sure I'll get to share all of these tales at a later date.

All in all, I love, love, love this horse. Maybe it's the nurturing side of me, the proud mom that wants to take care of every hurt and worry and make everything all better. I know I can't always do that, and I have a hard time forcing him to "tough it out". I don't believe in making horses "tough it out". If they don't like something, then they don't like it, and it's our job to figure out why and what can be done to make them more comfortable. Horses don't have judgments, just needs. Fill those needs and the horse is happy. All my life I've seen owners misunderstand their horses, assuming misbehavior on the animal's part is just the horse "being a jerk". I've only met one horse who I really thought was just rotten; all the others are just misunderstood or have learned bad behaviors through improper training. Such was the case Ernie.

There's much more to tell, but it will have to be done in pieces.